It’s funny…

It is funny, but now that I have lost weight and I have to put up my bigger clothes (size 14), I am a bit saddened. As I fold them, I am think about how much I loved those pants or skirt. I am so happy to fit back into some clothes I have not been able to wear since before I had kids, but there is still a little saddness for the clothes that I have been wearing.
I know that seems silly, but it is true.
Has anyone else had these mixed feelings before?


The Weekend Roadtrip!

We are taking our first trip since starting my endevor, a trip to my parent’s house.  Anytime I go on the road a new set of challenges arises…really there is a loss of control that I accept.  At home I can determine what is in the pantry and what to serve for breakfast.  When you travel, there is a loss of control.

On the road, when the kids are hungry you stop, and you are at the mercy of the choices on that exit, for the most part it is fast food. The question posed to the car is “McDonald’s or Burger King, guys?”  The kids voted for McDonald’s, so off we went.  When I can’t get a hamburger, the choices decrease exponentially.  I went for eating less.  It is easier to have will power, when you eat at home.  Just ask my husband who cannot say no to a McDonald’s Apple Pie (or two).

At my parent’s house you are at the mercy of what is served.  My dad makes a fantastic breakfast…eggs, bacon, rice.  Yummy.  I had a little of all of it, but I would have loved to have a 2nd helping of the bacon.  Especially, when he held up the plate and said there are 2 more left, anyone!  “Me! Me! Me!,” the inner chubby girl yelled (who am I kidding there is no inner chubby girl she is in plain sight).   By the way, I did not take the bacon, small victory!   I will take all the victories I can.

The other bit of control I lose leaving town is the loss of my gym.  Once out of town, there is no class to go to, working out has to planned and researched.  Finding time for working out is not as easy, especially when there are other activities planned and time to spend with loved ones you do not see on a daily basis.  The whole idea of a vacation is a break from reality, so does that mean a break from working out as well.  My first thought is “of course!”  The me that wants to lose weight nags “no, you must keep with the routine.”   What choices are at my parent’s gym?  Do they have a gym?  Well, this visit will involve a lot of walking on an insanely hot day, so I think I am going to be alright.  If I don’t lose weight from the walking, I will sweat it out from the heat.

We are joining my parents for the craft show their little town holds twice a year.  You know what they have at festivals….that is right, the best food on earth!  Elephant Ears, funnel cake,those curly potato chip things, cotton candy, ice cream, frozen chocolate covered bananas…Oh I can go on.   Can you tell what I have been thinking about.  Yes, today will be a test and I am only aiming for a “C.”   Oh, I know I will have to partake in something today…my guess is I will be hypnotized by the funnel cakes.  Well, time to get dressed and go down to the fair.

New Name for the Blog

So today I was chatting with a coworker about this little blog, and we thought we would see if we could find it with a Google Search.  How enlightening!

We did not find the blog but we did find…

Fat fetishism and variety of Porn… Some examples of the porn mentioned was “Mature Chubby Stocking Slut,” and “Chubby Girl Gone Black.”

My favorite was “Cute fat chubby Vanessa wants to use a big thick ?” Oh my!

So, I am thinking a name change can only be a good thing, right?

Where to start?

You gotta start somewhere, right?

I started with my gym membership.  We have a family membership that we pay way too much for and only gets used when the kids take a swim lesson or when one of my friends encourages me to take a class with them.

I decided I need to just go.  I am aiming for 3 times a week.  First thing I did was drop the kids off at the daycare and headed to the water fountain.  I was so proud of myself for my renewed efforts that I had purchased a cute little water bottle.  I guess my theory was if I carried this fancy water bottle, people would admire it rather than my huge butt.  Who knows if it worked.  Next to the water fountain is the scale.  It taunted me.  I have always believed that scales were evil, so we have never purchased a scale.  What good is it to harp on your weight?  It is how the clothes fit on you, right?

I convinced myself that if I was going to monitor my progress I needed to have a baseline though, so I conquered my fears and stepped on.  Immediately, I regretted this decision.  The number that flashed made me want to cry. 176.  That cannot be right, I thought.  Of course it wasn’t.  I was still holding the water bottle and the water bottle alone had to be 5 pounds at least!

So I put the bottle down and stepped on it again.  I was a bit disappointed that it only weighed a pound.  Ladies and Gentleman… I weigh 175 pounds.  My dress size is a 14, although I still smash myself into a 12 whenever possible.  So this is my starting point.